WEEP NOT IF YOU MARRY BACK HOME WHILE LIVING IN ABROAD.

wedding day pics

By Prince Kelly O. Udebhulu.

For my years in abroad, I have attended numerous welcoming parties,  parties organized by relatives, friends and friend of friends, who either engaged in courtship or not in Nigeria, married and successfully brought the partner to abroad as life partner under the same roof or "extended roof".

The lengthy procedures and money involved to bring the partner to abroad after  the marriage back home depend which angle you view it; it can be meager, huge or extravagance in nature, at times, the immigration process can be frustrating and lots of ingenuity and perseverance are involved so far  the conditions before the marriage are actualized!

wedding spree

The simple questions one may be forced to ask are that why do Nigerians living in abroad do go back home to marry instead of marrying the person they have wined, dined and romanced right here in abroad? Most of these victims are well educated, well-traveled, well -mannered and have enviable qualities. They have shown their capabilities in all matters relating to a good partner in life? They are persons who have tasted and understood our life patterns in Nigeria and western World ways of life!

Then, why most people go back home to marry the unknown partner? Hope you will follow me to mention some facts gathered all these my years living in abroad.

 The interesting reasons anchored on their "uncooked mindset" that those partners they knew back home are innocent, virgin and un-spoilt;  another fact discovered is that it is an ego boosting exercise that  allows them to demonstrate to their kinsmen back in Nigeria that they too can bring one of their own to the abroad;  furthermore, it allows some people to mask their "failures and shortcomings" since the partner who is already in abroad can tell where they are on the social and economic ladder. Additionally, some people want their partner to look up to them since it makes them appear more than who they really are (at least in the initial stages). Sense of self and low self-esteem plays a role here!

country home wedding

Ironically, most Nigerians in abroad concluded within themselves that those already in abroad have all "gone bad, rotten, too exposed, and too independent “. One interesting revelation I found out is that most self-acclaimed saints back home are worse than the accused in abroad. What a great revelation! And in their thoughts! To make this thinking a reality, they marry a “green vegetable" that never tasted the burning fire. hahahahaha!

Surprisingly, you see life has a way of getting back at us. Sooner or later, the law of Karma will come to play. Most of the victims abandoned before in abroad to marry back home become the counseling agents in the marriage! Life is dynamic, ever changing; and never static. Expressively in all ramifications and deeds, yesterday's "green vegetable" will become the "ever-present and ever-knowing" of today and tomorrow. The innocents will lose the mist in their eyes and become like all the Nigerians in abroad that came before them whom were tagged “gone bad, rotten, too exposed, and too independent".  Compared to non-imported MARRIAGES, one cannot but notice that "green vegetable marriages" dissolve quicker -mostly within minimal years of consummation!

The sufferer will realize under agony of slow social death and isolation that the marriage was not based on love or affection and was not even like the marriages of yester-years: a contract and a union between two families. It will be exposed to the sufferer that the green vegetable and the un-spoilt partner was in dire need to escape the prevailing abject poverty and hopelessness that  engulfed him or her back home. The sufferer will soon be the teacher to tell others that most of these people back home want a way out of the sorrow and the lack of opportunities in Nigeria, it is solely about running away from the fetid and stifling conditions that stunt dreams and kill optimism. So, when such people are presented with the opportunity to hop, they pack and run! What a great lesson!!!

For the tomorrow of today`s sake, as for the people who are in search of these partners back home;  well, your mindset has been discussed. What you need to be added is the fact that most people who went on such journey are never happy today because they got what they never bargained for: stunned, disappointed and under-achieving partners who never knew about 40-60-hours work week; people who never knew that there are no EUROS or DOLLARS minting factories down the street, that western nations are not what they saw in the movies and magazines, that western nations are not nations of instant riches and glamour. You must waka!  Toil ! and  gbedu ! to meet up!

marriage party

Some salient questions I keep asking these sufferers daily when I saw the agony on their frustrating fore-heads are so many that these few ones have never been answered concretely. Why do we wine, dine and romance our partner if we have no intention of marrying the person? Why do we whine and complain when we see them lay their eggs in the nest of other races? Why do we sneer at them when they turn the "ideal age for marriage" and are unmarried?  And why do we slap the misunderstanding or misrepresentation at them when they have children out of wedlock? It is a shame over way some Nigerians in abroad have treated and continues to treat some of our people. It is truly a pity scenario!

...to be continue.

Prince Kelly O. Udebhulu is a trained journalist from the AIU ( USA), resides in Spain; a blogger and special correspondent to some news media internationally.

Twitter: @princekelly75

Facebook: prince kelly o.udebhulu

Skype: princekellyudebhulu

google hangout: princekellyudebhulu1

Nigeria Air Force Rolls Out Tips On Surviving Bomb Explosions.

The Air Force asks the public to be security conscious.

The Nigerian Air Force has rolled out security tips to the public and Air Force schools on detection and actions to be taken in case of suspicious objects or Improvised Explosive Devices, IEDs.

The out-going Director of Air Force Information and Public Relations, Yusuf Anas, an Air Commodore, told journalists that a pamphlet released would guide the public on how to be security conscious.

On what to do when suspicious objects/improvised explosive devices are sighted, the pamphlet advised:

- Remain calm; move away from suspicious objects; be wary of crowd, unattended vehicles and damaged building; do not attempt moving/touching any suspicious object from its position;

- Report such immediately by any fastest means possible by calling 112 Emergency Line, nearest police station or contact any security officer.’’

During bomb explosions, the pamphlet advised on the following:

- Avoid panic; crawl under a study table or a solid object if things are falling and remain there for a least one minute;

- Stay away from glass or fixtures like windows, mirrors, cabinets and electrical equipment;

- Follow the orders of police or safety personnel; evacuate the building as soon as possible; do not forget handicap people who may need help;

- Do not move seriously injured persons unless they are in obvious danger; do not go near gas lines, fire hazards or kitchen; do not use elevators, lay flat on the ground and keep your mouth open and breathe at small intervals;

- After Explosion, evacuate the building as quickly possible; do not stop to retrieve personal possessions or make phone calls; Bystanders must avoid rushing to the scene of the blast to avoid secondary explosion;

- Open door carefully; watch for falling objects or debris; avoid using telephones, mobile phones and hand radios; electrical sparks or signals could trigger other bombs,” the document said.