Payment of Bride Price under Esan Tradition: It's Importance.

By Prince Kelly O. Udebhulu.

In Esan tradition, a woman is said to be unmarried until the man pays her bride price even though they are both living together with or without children already. In Esan tradition, the woman is not allowed to bury her father as a married daughter when he (father) dies until the man pays her bride price. She is not allowed to present any man as a husband or a man to perform the role of an in-law during her late father's burial ceremony.

In our understanding, marriage also known as matrimony is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal marriage contract between two individuals that established obligations and rights between them and their children and in-laws. We have different types of marriages but the most common types under tradition are the monogamy ( one man with one wife) and polygamy ( one man with several wives).

In Esan dictionary, bride price, also known as bride "token" is an amount of money, property or other forms of wealth paid by a groom or his family to the parents of the woman (bride) he has just married or is just about to marry. It is one of the highest honors confirming a bride’s value and womanhood; giving the husband the full traditional or customary rights to the sexual, economic, or procreative powers of his wife.

In Esan traditional marriage, it takes two major stages; the introduction ceremony and the payment of bride price or engagement ceremony. The "introduction ceremony" is the first phase. The families of the intending couple formally meet for acquaintances and assert their consent to the proposed marriage. List of requirements for the payment of bride price is given to the man's family. Some are done in a living room setting with strictly the nuclear or immediate extended families in attendance.

The payment of bride price or engagement ceremony which is the second phase takes a bigger look that the previous as the would-be in-law comes with the itemized requirements given to them during the introduction ceremony. it is merriment galore after all conditions and engagement of the bride and groom according to the Esan tradition took place. This merriment aspect of it depends on how and manner the celebrants organized or wanted it.

It is worthy of note that as a result of the various beliefs on bride price payment, there is a question whether bride price is a necessity or importance under Esan people's tradition?

A thing is said to be necessary when it is a requirement or it is essential, while it is referred to as important when it is of great significance or value. Many may agree that it is a necessity because various cultures have made it a requirement for getting married to a woman, and others will say it is important because without it, no marriage has taken place and people will label the girl “cheap”, and it also shows that the man values the girl and therefore, appreciates the parents of the girl through the payment of the bride price; but I tell you this day that though it turned a necessity but it is importance under Esan people's tradition.

Bride price is an important aspect of marriage tradition in Esan land. It is a token that highlights a degree of commitment and chivalry in a man and shows he does not only value his bride, but also holds a high regard for her family.

However, Bride price does not in any way equate the worth of a woman. In Esan tradition, no amount of money can buy a daughter; her value is inestimable in human terms. Esan people value their children, male or female, this is why unlike some other traditions; the bride price is very low. A calculated message to the groom that they do not sell their daughter and she is still considered a family daughter even though she is married, hence the tradition that at death, the corpse of Esan woman is returned to her family to be buried with her ancestors.

Also, as the bride price signifies the beginning of a marriage, it is as well depicts the end of that marriage, as the bride price is usually refunded to the man (husband) when both or either the woman or man is no longer interested in the marriage. In Esan tradition, a marriage is not reckoned to have ended until the return of the bride price has been acknowledged, signifying a divorce.

Conclusively, every man who intends getting married should fulfill his obligation by paying the woman’s bride price. The bride price is a price that every man should pay before he gets married to his proposed wife or a woman living with him though they have child or children already. To say you are married, you must have paid the bride price of the woman. Bride price is cultural, traditional and even biblical.

...to be continued.