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| weeping widow |
The destruction of a culture is to destroy the root from which human society sprung from. However, retaining a culture that is oppressive is destroying the oppressed. Culture is constantly being modified and it is not expected to change overnight. The change must be in motion and it should be progressive. All efforts must be made to preserve the positive aspects in our culture but at the same time global changes must not be ignored. It is conceded that not all global changes are ideal, however notable changes abound that do not destroy the fabric of the Esan culture, but are for the well-being and development of the general Esan Land/People should be embraced.
Widowhood is a multi-faceted tragedy. It is overwhelmingly a woman’s problem which reveals atrocious social injustice. It joins a woman into the category of the marginalized defenseless and invisible being. Under the culture, widowhood is used as slang for being defenseless and cursed being. There are many widows among the adult female population than in men population today. This problem is compounded by the rampant cases of road accidents, jealousy/envy and competitions at working places, men are more among the casualties and women suffer.
Traditional practices deeply embedded in the customs constitute the greatest threat to the human rights of millions of widows. However, they can be described as cruel and inhuman. Widows are subjected to humiliating and degrading burial rites and mourning practices in the name of custom. It is pathetic to note that the traditional custodian of cultural practices in widowhood is almost exclusively female who rigorously enforce these practices leaving the widow isolated, impoverished and damaged.
Generally, there are some myths associated with widowhood. They are as follows:
i. The widow is the first suspect in the death of her husband. For this reason, she is made to undergo rigorous, unhealthy and demoralizing rites with the belief that she would die if she was a party to the death.
ii. Widowhood is regarded as a taboo which should not be discussed openly for fear of evil happenings on the discussants. This explains the dearth of literature on the issue.
iii. The widow freedom and liberty and subsequent remarry to another man is seen as a direct slap to the deceased husband family pride and values.
It is the widow who suffers for the death of a spouse. A widower (husband) on the other hand does not suffer the same fate as the widow even though both had lost a partner. At the death of a spouse, a widow is dethroned, defaced and disinherited, is dethroned because she loses the status conferred on her by her husband by being made to sit on the bare earth, straw mat or palm leaves. The “defacement” comes in when the widow is expected to look unattractive, dirty, unkempt with her hair shaved in some instances and denied of washing. The “disinheritance” comes in when the widow is disposed of all the property she had acquired with her husband and the worst scenerio especially when the widow is childless.
The widower (husband) on the other hand at this time is pitied because of loneliness caused by the loss of his partner, pampered as he will be fussed over and pacified usually with different suggestions of taking a new wife. A child who lost his or her father at a tender age carries the trauma all through his or her life especially the EXECUTION OF DIS-INHERITANCE POLICY. A change I Solicit Humbly My People.
Long Live Esan People.
By..Prince Kelly Udebhulu,
Skype: princekellyudebhulu
Tweet to @princekelly75
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