Widowhood: Effects & Recommendations of widowhood practices in Esan People`s Culture.

Weeping woman

By Prince Kelly O. Udebhulu.

Women in Esan land are meant to suffer stressful situation when the husband dies, this stressful situation makes the women to suffer a lot of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual problems during and after the burial ceremony of her late husband. The widows do not enjoy the best of health due to pressure of conforming to widowhood practice. A lot of possible punishments or sanctions placed on widow by the community make it difficult for women to express their view point in widowhood.

Some of the practices widows are meant to pass through on the loose of the husband exclusively executed by other married women in the family or community are;

• ·     Drinking of remains of bath water used to wash the husbands corpses in some instances or place hands on the dead husband`s forehead to make oath if she was a party to the cause of his death, if she will deny his children or family access to the late husband`s estate or wealth, that the adverse effect of repercussion befalls upon her.
• ·     Mourn her husband death for about three to twelve month depending on the ethnic community.
• ·     Widow is not allowed to bathe, clean her surrounding during mourning period, on rare cases once bath a day.
• ·     The widow is not allowed to fetch water, cook or go to the market. This period can last up to three months or a year depending on the community and the widow is forced to depend on others.
•   Hair Cut:    This includes hair scraping. It is intended to make the woman unattractive since the hair is said to be the woman’s crowning glory.
• ·    Disinheritance:  This denies the wife the right to inherit or own property. In-laws force the widow out of her home, leaving her with no means of shelter or support for herself and her children. Worst scenario when the deceased children are minor, the full control of the deceased estate and wealth are under the late husband`s family control pending when the children are adults.
•       The widow is forced to wear black or white and is made to go through routine crying, whether or not she likes it.
• ·      The widow washes in the stream, her mourning clothes are burnt and she is forced to walk back home without looking back. This is done to supposedly block the link between the living and the dead. 
• ·     By making the widow sit on the floor or mat, this is to emphasize her apparent fall in status formerly bestowed upon her by her late husband. 
• ·     The widow is seen as defiled and capable of defiling others. She may not be touched or receive a handshake during the mourning period.
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    The following recommendations can assist us;

• ·     Do not starve widows and their children during & after mourning period.
• ·     The right of inheritance should be geared to the widow and her children not the reverse were deceased family have overwhelming control.
• ·     Join forces from every sphere of the community to modernize or adjust the harmful practices on widows through re-education campaign for women`s right.
• ·     Writing of “will” when the family is actively in force.
• ·      Building of mutual relationship between and among in-laws.
• ·      Quick and transparent communication between the wife and husband family when the husband fall sick or at life- risking adventure.
• ·      Display of absolute sincerity on the part of the wife before the husband`s family.
• ·     Inter-marital conflicts must be minimized among marriages in a family, community and friends, etc.

When we adhere and practice the above recommendations, a bright light of hope emerges to the ever-existed widowhood practices in our community.

Esanokpebholo, Akugbe Ahu!!!

Prince Kelly O. Udebhulu.

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